Music / Features
Life Advice with SPOD
Words by Francis Tait
Friday 9th August, 2019
Ahead of the Melbourne launch of his new album Adult Fantasy tomorrow, we got in touch with national treasure SPOD to help take a load off all of our shoulders, in the next edition of Life Advice.
Out last month, Adult Fantasy is a slight left turn for the usual party-starter - without losing the charm and spontaneity that has enabled him to build his hugely devoted fanbase, the album is surprisingly introspective and self-aware. That said, it is SPOD we’re dealing with, so it’s still outrageously bizarre (take 46 minute album closer for example, which features upwards of 20 collaborators taking solos, including the likes of Ariel Pink and Henry Rollins.)

SPOD describes the new album as “an ode to the delicate balance of life, keeping the drive to continue against the odds and to shine as bright as the morning sun while the reality is a subtle dusk falling upon the dampening fields of life.” If that doesn’t qualify SPOD as a Trouble Juice life coach, we don’t know what will.

You sent in your questions and SPOD has gifted us with a little of the worldly knowledge he’s gained over the last two decades of doing whatever the hell he does.
Bonjour Spod, I was just wondering what your advice is for remaining as cool as a cucumber. Any tips welcome.
Joseph, 31, Montréal, Canada

Joseph, so glad you asked. It’s all about focus. Looking past the foreground to find the horizon of the mind. Looking across the vast wastelands of everyday life and focusing on the border between earth and space, reality and the hyper reality of the cosmos. The swift winds of Madagascar. The crisp waters of the Atlantic. The vacuum of space. The moisture of morning grass. The softness of the human body. They all exist within every moment all at once. Everything exists all the time and there is no way you can fathom it. You can never keep all moments in your mind at one time, the vast complexities of our physical realm are only undermined by the endless possibilities of the minds eye. Parallel universes exist within our own minds, creating vast landscapes of truth & beauty unrivalled by molecular life. This is the realm of calm possibilities, nestled between the fabric of time and space and is in your grasp right now. Remembering that or playing Skate 3 on the Xbox.

Hi Spod, I’ve never really been the sort of person to put myself out there and actively look for a partner, but I think I’m ready to find love. Any advice on how I can get started?

Sure thing, just open it up and let it in. Hopefully your pollen catches the wind and finds the right home to propagate the invigorating explosion that is the love of another living being. Be good, live your life with an open heart and truthful intent and get on Tinder I guess?

Hey Spod, I bumped into you at a music festival earlier this year, and for some reason you told me my girlfriend had run off with a guy called Jai. Turns out that hadn’t actually happened, but now I can’t help but feel like Jai is always lingering in the shadows, waiting for the perfect moment to pounce. What should I do?
James, 25

Hi James, look mate my mistake I just saw her chillin’ with Jai and they were kissing but I must have taken it the wrong way so my apologies to you guys. But look. Here we are, so lets chat about Jai. Maybe Jai is more of a state of mind than an actual person though, you COULD be Jai if you committed to the essence of Jai, but I’m not sure you’re ready for that kind of responsibility, James. The life of Jai isn’t a path of opulence, but a path of self righteous discovery of the human soul through the art of physical and emotional interactions. Are you ready for that, James? Are you ready to commit to the weaving path of sexual enlightenment and spiritual fulfillment? Also, lets talk through what Jai really is. I feel like you need to know. You’ve suffered enough and need to start your journey. James Am I is Jai. Believe in yourself, you were Jai all along! #namaste

Hi there Spod, every morning when I come downstairs, my mum starts chatting to me, without even waiting until I get some coffee into me. I want to be a good son, so how can I let her know she needs to wait til I’ve had my morning cup without hurting her feelings?
Sebastian, 17

Sebastian, it’s never too late to find a new mum because I’m tellin’ you this, she’s blowin’ it! Full respect to her 17 years of love and toil, but you’re nearly a full grown man now and that means you’re connected to the brown bean, the dirty fruit, the heart starter. She needs to respect your need for the Blend 43. Next time she does this just tap your mug and shake your head until she tops it up with the good stuff, and then, sit down and have a long, heartfelt chat about your burgeoning manhood and that there’s a new mum in town and she’s called Coffee!

How SHOULD I be having my coffee?

You should have your coffee the same way you should live your life. One cup at a time. And keep them coming!

Is having a kid good?
Amanda, 67

Amanda. Having a kid is a wonderful experience. It’s a connection to eternity, a slither of the devine, a portal to the endless beauty of heaven & the fiery furnaces of hell itself. A dark path of deprivation and emotional torture that tears your very heart from your beating body and holds it aloft in a chamber of darkened sorrow and despair just to have it feel the cool breeze of a spring morning and the kiss of the first dew. The peak of the dawn wrapping its soft limbs across its cold mass and filling it with a warm rush of hope and a diamonds clarity of what true love and peace means, whilst unveiling the meaning of life which is that mankind is just a virus propelling itself into an inevitable death spiral. It’s the greatest thing in my life and I’m humbled to get to experience it while I’m here.

I need to get a haircut and I haven’t gone to a hairdresser since I was in high-school. Where should I go? Is it worth it?

Give a mate some scissors and dig in!

What’s your perfect Sunday?
Trouble Juice, 2

A Sunday that starts again at 4pm!

Catch SPOD launching Adult Fantasy in Melbourne at The Tote on Saturday 10th August with Future Suck and Nick Capper and at The Foundry in Brisbane on the 24th of August with WHALEHOUSE, Simi Lacroix and YOUNG Trouble.

Still looking for that solution to your tiny insignificant problem or got some big questions you need answered? Send your questions to (not .com) by Monday August 19th with your name and age (if you’d like) and our next adviser Ali Barter will do all she can to help.