Benny's Bit / Vol. 1
Benny's Bit
Saturday 17th June, 2017
Meet Benny. He loves country music and cold beers almost as much as he loves Rafael Nadal, and can’t stand the fact he’s actually the fairy godmother of Trouble Juice. Benny says a lot of stuff. Here is some of the stuff Benny says.
Benny on Fashion

“I’d wear a cowboy hat everyday if I could. Society’s pressures means that I can’t. Also, I don’t have time for pyjamas, like when the top and bottom match. What do you sleep in?”

TJ: Boxers and a t-shirt

“Yeah, that’s alright. You know what’s in at the moment though? Fidget spinners - of course they’re hot right now.”

Benny on Health and Hygiene

“A dog once ate a slice of pizza out of my hand. I finished the slice. And I’d do it again. We’ve all got germs, it’s good for the immune system. For me, keeping healthy is a mixture of diet, exercise and genetics.”

Benny on the Beach

“Once you’re over the age of 12 you can’t boogie board any more. It’s a shame, they’re pretty fun and it’s so easy. I’m all about being sun smart but I’ll only wear a rashie when I’m surfing. I’ve noticed people stop wearing rashies after the age of 12 too, I say leave it on. Also, if you get a rash then you should keep the area dry and moisturise it. Otherwise go to the doctor.”

Benny on Food

“White bread with butter and Vegemite is one of the best foods in the world but I deprive myself of it. You just can’t eat white bread in this day and age. Multigrain bread is hot.”

TJ: But what’s healthier? White toast with Vegemite or brown toast with jam?

“I don’t eat toast and I don’t care about what you just said.”

TJ: What’s for dinner tonight?

“Salmon with rice and vegetables.”

Benny on Music

“It’s not hot how cassettes are cool right now. Download codes are cool. I think I’m the only person who still uses iTunes. But CD stacks are coming back in - it’s good to see the millennials getting around them. Maybe CD’s should come with download codes. I like music that sounds shit. Major chords beat minor chords. One, four, five, you know me baby.”

TJ: What do you think about people who don’t like sad songs but it makes them sad?

“No, I’ve never thought about that.”

Benny on Pens

“I always have a pen on me. The worst colour on a four-pen is green. It’s unnecessary. Sometimes I think I should take the green pen out.”

TJ: Would you replace it with another blue?

“No, I’d just take it out altogether. Leave it blank”

Benny on Success

“Being successful based on your parents accomplishments is hot. Use what resources you have. I like reading and I think it makes you smarter. Not reading is for nerds.”

Parting words

“Grading is a necessary part of organised amateur sport. Remember that.”